SUNS OUT GUNS OUT: 10 Thoughts on Guys in Tank Tops

8:49:00 PM

What's up with guys and tank tops?  Let's just say.... I have a few thoughts. 
1. Armpit Hair. This is the #1 issue.  All too often, I see guys with abnormally long armpit hair trying to pull off the sleeveless shirt.... like hair so long that I could french braid it.  Now, I don't suggest you shave your armpits, but honestly-- there is nothing more frightening than when a guy puts his arm around you, and you get a face full of long, mangled armpit hair that is clotted with deodorant chunks.  Tip: Trim with a scissors so it's not more than 2" long.
2. What's on the shirt? 
Anything related to beer, sex, politics, or rednecks is usually always a no-no. 
3. Strap Width. 
There is a huge difference between a spaghetti-strap and a capped-sleeve.  We want NEITHER.  Find a happy medium.  Rule of thumb: The strap should be at LEAST 3 fingers wide. 
4. Wifebeaters. 
How could something called a "wifebeater" look anything BUT trashy!??  Not even Eminem could pull it off.  Unless you're under the hood of a car, there is simply no excuse to sport such a derogatory garment alone.
5. Do you lift weights?

Whether your biceps resemble balloons or toothpicks-- it doesn't matter.   It's about confidence: shoulders back, chest out, chin up.  
6. Farmer tan.
Don't feel obligated to get rid of a farmer's tan-- some girls find them sexy.  They suggest that you are probably hardworking, determined, and active.
7. DIY (when done right) = HOT. Oftentimes it's hotter to see a guy in a sleeveless shirt that he made himself (by cutting the sleeves off) than a guy in a manufactured, store-bought one.  You seem more capable and resourceful if you make it yourself... there's nothing hotter than a handyman. 
8. What The Flannel?
There is really never an excuse to wear a sleeveless flannel shirt-- unless you're going for the "hot, sweaty lumberjack" look.
9. Bottoms Up. This rule is simple.  If it is cool enough to wear pants, then you really SHOULDN'T be wearing a sleeveless shirt.  Sleeveless shirts are good for hot weather, but in cooler weather, they carry a different connotation-- starting with "T" and ending with "RASHY." 
10.  Ulterior motives.  Here's a secret: women know when you're trying to show off your arms.  It's 100% obvious.  We notice when you're trying to flex your triceps while stretching in class.  We notice when you cross your arms to make your biceps look bigger.  Most importantly: We can tell when you only do arm workouts... it shows on your legs.  So if you're wearing a sleeveless shirt just to show off the guns-- we probably have figured that out.  


How do YOU feel about men in tank tops?
Comment below, I wanna know!
Love,
Dylan

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