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30 Questions to Ask Your Significant Other About Relatives, Friends, Exes, and Work
Just like marriage brings together two sets of furniture, two sets of dishes, and two sets of decor, it also brings together two sets of preexisting friends, family, and professional relationships. In the previous chapter on parents and in-laws, Monica Leahy, author of "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married", reminds us that we cannot be all things to all people. When two networks collide, it takes compromise to work out the dynamics and priorities. Here are some fantastic questions to ask each other in your relationship concerning your pre-existing "networks" of relatives, friends, exes, and workplace relationships.
1. Do you feel it is important to get to know all your relatives well? 2.How long are you comfortable having relatives come and stay with you? 3.Would you like you and your partner to host large family gatherings? 4. Would you lend money to a relative who is having financial difficulties? 5. Do you encourage your partner to spend time alone with his/her friends? 6. Does your partner feel jealous when you socialize with friends of the opposite sex? 7.Is your partner the only friend you have? 8.Has your partner introduced you to his/her friends?
9.Would you mind if your partner tells their friends about your marital problems? 10.Does your partner try to socialize or fit in with your group of friends? 11. Are you the only friend your partner has?
12. If you and your partner have a fight do you immediately go to a friend for comfort? 13. Did you have pets growing up? 14.Will you get any pets after you've married? If so, what kind and how many? 15.Are there any types of pets you refuse to have? 16.Will you have your pets spayed or neutered? (Funny question, but it matters!) 17. If you wanted to get a pet but your partner didn't approve, what would you do?
18. Do you feel you've had closure with your former partner?
19.Will you allow contact between your partner and his or her former partner? 20.Does your ex still contact you on a regular basis? 21. Do you find that in many ways your partner is similar to your ex? 22. Are you still close to your former partner's family? 23. How long do you get along with coworkers? How would they describe you? 24.How well have you gotten along with past and present bosses? How would they describe you? 25.If you're a manager, what's your managerial style?
26. Are you impatient when you're not seated in a restaurant or attended to right away?
27. How do you react when you receive poor service at a restaurant or other business? 28. Do you give directions and recommendations on how to drive, what food to order, or what to buy when you're with others? 29.Are you chatty with strangers or do you keep to yourself? 30. How much do you tip when dining out?