Gym/Workout Fashions at Lifetime Fitness: Who is Who

6:59:00 PM

I recently joined Lifetime Fitness.  Let me tell you, I love it there.... and not only because of the working out.  The people watching is INSANE.  It's more entertaining than any reality T.V. show (except for Keeping Up With The Kardashians).  Honestly, why would you bury your face in a magazine at the gym when you are surrounded by live entertainment?  I plan on working out there every day for the next 6 weeks, so there will definitely be more to come on this topic.  But let me give you my initial analysis... as of Day 3. 
When you first walk in you will see a million trainers.  You can identify them by their massive muscles, short hair cuts, and curious stares (if they don't recognize you as a regular attendee).  
Then you will see the 45-55 year-old moms, whom you know will always look like moms, but are making a short-term effort to regain their youth.  This effort will probably last no more than 4 weeks.  You can identify them by their stained freebie t-shirts and their too-tight yoga pants that are a few inches too short.  Oh yes, and don't forget the bunched up panty-lines.  "Thong" is not in their vocabulary. 
Next you have the high school boys.  Oftentimes walking around with a buddy or perhaps an older brother, these guys are in the zone.  They want to get big muscles for football season, with the hopes that Coach might advance them to varsity.  These guys walk around with swagger, wear t-shirts with the sleeves ripped off, and are committed to their workouts.  P.S. Don't those shirts that are ripped down the sides look like ponchos?  Haha, maybe it's just me...?
Then there are the pre-pubescent boys.  These boys are around age 11-14, and they're usually right by dad's side.  These boys have a "tough guy" look on their face and want to make their dad proud.  Though their arms may be pencil thin, and their feet seem too big for their body, these boys are a determined crowd.  It's almost kind of cute.
The final category of guys, besides the grown men (whom, by the way, are extremely boring to watch), are the guys who are 20-30.  It can be extremely hard to determine their actual age, as a lot of it depends on their build.  A guy who is 30 and scrawny may actually look younger than a guy who is 20 and muscular.  Hence, this category is rather ambiguous.  If you are easily confused, it's best not to try to analyze this group of gym-goers.  My advice, scan them for a wedding ring. 
Next we have the young, 30-something year old moms.  These moms likely live on Lake Minnetonka and have 2-3, adorable, blonde, fashionable children.  These hot mamas have their workouts planned out to the T and may even have a personal trainer.  They want to keep that booty nice and tight for their hard-working, corporate-minded hubby.  These women have put-together workout "outfits" consisting of tight, black yoga pants and Nike tops that coordinate with their bright, sparkling new Nike shoes.  
Lastly, you have the people like myself.  These are the 18-25 year old girls who are not high school or college athletes, but whom still want to stay fit. We are probably just cruising along on the elliptical or bike (basically to burn calories), listening to our i-pod's "Workout" playlist, and watching all of the people around us.  

XOXO, Dylan

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