You're standing there with your boyfriend (or date) and some skinny minny 18 year old walks by, hooker heels and all. You hold your breath. God, please put the blinders on him. You look at him-- nope, he's not looking back at you. It's happened-- he is TOTALLY checking her out. You feel like crap. Why did you even go out tonight? The feeling sinks in. Does he not value you? How are you going to sit through an entire meal knowing he's oogling the teen girl at the table over? How do you handle this? I've come up with 30 options. Take your pick!
1. A slap suits the situation quite nicely.
2. Hit on the waiter when he comes back-- tell him your food is cold and that you "like it hot" *wink*.
3. If you are at a restaurant ask him if you can switch sides of the table. Upon switching, look in the direction of the girl an say, "Wow, yeah, much better view."
4. Start talking about Channing Tatum's body.
5. Ask your date if he'd like you to get the girl's number for him.
6. Order the most fattening items on the menu and tell him you're glad he loves you the way you are. Wolf them down like a starving pig.
7. Invite her to your table for a drink, and a friendly little chat.
8. Grab his face with your hands, look him sweetly in the eye with a smile and say, "You know, out of every guy here, I can't stop looking at you, babe."
9. Go to "the bathroom" and never come back.
10. Go up to her and tell her, "Hey, so my boyfriend thinks you're hot, and you know what, you can have him."
11. Tell him you're late for your next date.
12. If you're at a restaurant, ask the waiter if you can move to a table with a better view.
13. Confess that you have feelings for his older, hotter brother.
14. Say, "Gee, aren't there a lot of hot people here?"
15. Tell him the guy at the table next to you is out with his girlfriend but keeps checking you out. Threaten to go tell his girlfriend.
16. Ask if he needs a napkin for his drool.
17. When your food comes, tell the waitress you'd actually like a box... to go..... right now.
18. Call him out and say, "That girl is gorgeous, isn't she?"
19. Tell him about your "friend's" boyfriend who keeps checking out other girls when he's out with her.... and how you suggested she break up with him.
20. Ask him what time he is taking you home.
21. Mention that you broke up with your last boyfriend because he couldn't keep his eyes off other girls, to the point where you just didn't feel special.
22. Zone out for a second and then *smiling* say, "Sorry, I was distracted by someone."
23. Suggest a staring contest between the two of you.
24. If you're at a sports bar, start a game of ranking the players on TV.... by hotness.
25. Say with a smile, "Sweetheart, I don't know if I've told you how happy I am that you only have eyes for me."
26. Dramatically move your body to look in the direction that he's staring. Then ask him intensely, "Oh sorry I thought I was missing something. You seemed distracted."
27. Give "the eyes" to the next man who walks by.
28. A kick under the table also does the trick.
29. Ask him which of his friends are single.
30. Dump him.... right thur.
What would YOU do?
, by Dylan Jahraus