1. Ugh, so where do you see this thing going?
2. Oh, sorry, did think we were hanging out tonight?
3. I'm kinda tired, want to rain check?
4. Sorry but your mom is really annoying. Like really annoying.
5. I want a divorce.
6. I'm not sure how I feel about you.
7. Just so you know, I like you and everything, but I really don't believe in marriage.
8. I was going to get you chocolate, but then I thought you probably shouldn't eat it. I mean, um, wouldn't eat it.
9. I don't feel like this is going anywhere.
10. I refuse to be one of those sappy couples.
11. There's someone else.
12. It's not you, it's me. No really, it's not you.
13. I know you don't really know me, but I think we'd be perfect together.
14. What happened to us? We used to be so in love.
15. Let's just be friends.
16. Babe, come on. You know I hate PDA.
17. I love you, Jessica. Uh, I mean, Rachel.
18. I just don't know about us anymore....
19. My baby sister and her boyfriend got engaged! Honeyyyy, isn't that awesome? Engaged! Oh-em-gee she's so luckyyyy! SO jeal! Did you know she's 5 years younger? Ehem.
20. Let's take a break. Like just for tonight.
21. Guess what just happened? My ex just broke up with their girlfriend...!
22. Just so you know, I don't really believe in Valentine's Day.
23. So last year on Valentine's Day my ex girlfriend....
24. Hypothetically, which ex would you take back? Come on I thought we could be open with each other.
25. Sorry, I kind of have other plans tonight.
26. Let's skip Valentine's Day this year.
27. Hang on, my ex just texted me.
28. I need to get something off my chest....
29. I've never been as happy as when I was single. No offense.
30. Don't take this the wrong way, but last night I had a dream that I cheated on you.
31. I just don't want to lead you on.
32. I'm surprised we made it this long.
33. Remember how much fun we used to have?
34. Wait, is today Valentine's Day?
Love Love Love,
Dylan
I know I'm not the only one. Have you ever thrown something away so you wouldn't eat it? Chocolate, cheesecake, cupcakes, cookie dough, candy, soda, alcohol-- you name it. Whether people give us these temptations or we purchase them, we know that consumption will inevitably lead to regret and perhaps a day of wearing stretchy pants. Moderation, you say? I would guesstimate that 85% of us lack that level of self-control. So what do we do with this sweet sinful goodness sitting right in front of us? Destroy it. Ruin it. How? With the help of 4 contributors (both women and men), I am providing you with 25 ways!
1. Flush it down the toilet.
2. Give it to your children.
3. Put it down the garbage disposal.
4. Drive over it with your car.
5. Throw it into a dumpster that you wouldn't dive into.
6. Mix water into it.
7. Crumble it up.
8. Tell your boyfriend to take it with him.
9. Bring it to the office or your workplace.
10. Give it to a dog.
11. Put dirt on it.
12. Make a treat or meal with it to give to someone else.
13. Give it to a homeless person.
14. Leave it in the car so you will be too lazy to go get it.
15. Step on it with your shoes on.
16. Tell your husband/wife/roommate to hide it from you.
17. Put it in your garbage and put something gross on top of it.
18. Throw it out the window.... it's for the um, squirrels, right?
19. Dump salt all over it.
20. Put that "Silca Gel" stuff that comes in new purses and shoe boxes on it. Hello, poison!
21. Put sand in it.
22. Squeeze Elmer's glue on it.
23. Let someone who is sick/ill cough or sneeze on it. Lmao. This is getting ridiculous, right?
24. Spray it with bug repellant or Windex.
25. Dare someone to eat it all. Right then, right there.
If you think this is absolutely nuts or concerning, check out this article from another blogger. It was rather interesting! --> Is there ever a reason to destroy your food?
XOXO,
Dylan
We all have those days when our hair is just IN THE WAY. It gets caught inside your winter jacket. It gets snagged by the strap of your purse. It sticks to your lip gloss. It scratches your neck. It won't stay behind your ears. You say you want to shave your head or chop it all off. Now, of course you don't mean that, but somehow saying it alleviates some frustration. Right? That is usually when you grab a trusty hair binder and "throw it up." You know, when you hastily pull it onto the top of your head and call it done? Here is some inspiration for your next "I-want-to-chop-my-hair-off"day. 
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| thesmallthingsblog.com |
Love Love Love,
Dylan
