Modern Wife Life

Favorite Fashions All-In-One Photo: 
1. Burberry Scarf
2. Leopard Print Umbrella (it rained a TON here this month)
3. Over-the-knee boots from T.J. Max ($44)
4. Coach Convertible Canvas Cross-Body bag (tan/brown)
5. Forever21 Flower headbands ($2.98) 
Favorite Foods: 
1. Sugar-free Jello in Raspberry (40 calories per box!)
2. Baby Carrots (Trader Joes for BEST taste and BEST value)
3. Crystal Light- Metabolism + Green Tea Peach Mango Mix 
Favorite Perfume: 
1. Pure Seduction from V.S. (day)
2. Black Amethyst from Bath and Body Works (hot date nights)  
Favorite Quote: 
(While I was up late studying for a test) 
Favorite Song: 

  Some Halloween costumes that are TOTALLY overused.  It's gotten to the point where being a sexy-ANYTHING suffices as a "Halloween costume".  Sexy kitten, sexy librarian, sexy referee, sexy cop, sexy fairy, sexy angel, sexy devil, sexy sailor, sexy 80's dancer, sexy witch, sexy nurse, sexy pirate, sexy Disney princess, sexy cowgirl, sexy sports fan, and OF COURSE, the sexy Catholic school girl.  WE GET IT:  HALLOWEEN IS THE LATEST EXCUSE TO DRESS LIKE A SKANK.  I don't know about you, but I'm sick of these prepackaged, cookie-cutter, sexed up, costumes sold at Spencer's Gifts and Hot Topic.  Let's try to be ORIGINAL this year. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Groups
1. Rubik's Cube
2. Bouquet of Flowers
3. Kardashian Sisters
4. White Trash Bridal Party
5. President and his Secret Service
6.  The different stages of Michael Jackson
7. Circus Performers
8. Survivor cast members
9. The weather (sunshine, storm, rain, snow, etc)
10. The Anti-Jersey Shore Cast
Individuals
1. Christmas Present
2. Orbit Gum Girl
3. Martha Stewart
4. Lauren Conrad
5. Dead Cheerleader
6. Mail Order Bride
7. Chia Pet
8. Feminazi
9. Teen Mom
10. Rosie the Riviter
11. Lindsay Lohan in jail
12. Audrey Hepburn
13. Tiger Woods' mistress
14. Lady Gaga
15. A cuddle bug (because who wouldn't want to wear snuggly, comfy clothes?)
Couples
1. Girl Scout & Boy Scout
2. Siblings (haha)
3. Adam & Eve
4. Miley Cyrus and her Dad (haha)
5. Cardiac Arrest (She dresses like a heart, and he has handcuffs.)
6. Romeo and Juliet
7. Janitor and Trash
8. Barbie and Ken
9. Mac and PC
10. Couple on "Dancing with the Stars"
11. Democrat and Republican
12. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott (Kourtney should look abused.  Scott should have a bottle of wine in his hand and a sweater around his shoulders- see picture)

I'm a girl who loves to show a lil' leg.  The best way to continue this trend through the bone-chilling seasons is with tights.  Plain tights can be boring, and show runs WAY too easily, so I would recommend patterned tights.  Now, when it comes to patterned tights, there is a fine line between "cute" and "hooker."  Far too often, I see this line crossed in the wrong context (i.e. in church or the classroom).  Let me explain.

Peter Leighton.  Check him out.  He's a 22 year old, Minnesota bachelor who is totally single and ready to mingle.  Peter is a total baller complete with the muscles and tattoos, yet he is also sensitive and gives great advice.  If you're looking for a rock climbing date or simply someone to hold your hand while you get a tattoo, Peter is your man.  Check him out on facebook.

Scarves are a Godsend!  They transition your favorite low-cut tops into the winter season and prevent that "vacuum-effect", where the wind seemingly gets sucked through the top of your jacket and down your back, leaving you with cold chills.  As a Minnesota girl, who has tromped through 2 feet of snow in her terry bathrobe and snowboots to get the mail, believe me when I say I know those chills too well.  A major problem with wearing scarves, however, is that while we understand their function, we do not understand their fashion.  This results in a look that catches people's eye... in a bad way.  Many of us cannot identify what it is that seems out of place, and that is why I am here.  Let me explain.

Don't get me wrong, I love a strong, sexy eyebrow.  Strong eyebrows compliment that tall, dark, and handsome ideal that ladies love.  Strong eyebrows seem to say, "I'm all man."  However, there is a line between strong eyebrows and eyebrows on steroids.  You know what I mean.  Like two bushy caterpillars crawling across their forehead, eyebrows can be a distraction.  This is where girls need to step up and take responsibility for their boyfriend's bushy brows.  Ladies, get out your tweezers, because it's time to tame our sexy beasts.

1. Swim laps.  I'm not sure why, but chlorine does wonders for your clearing up skin.  If you're like me and lack any real swimming technique, I suggest going to the rec in the morning, before it's too busy.
2. Change your pillow case every other night.  This is my #1 way to clear up breakouts.  You will see the results in two days, guaranteed.
3. Stop touching your face.  I don't care if you are a germ-freak that carries hand sanitizer on your keychain.  Your hands produce natural oils.  You might as well be pushing Crisco into your pores.
4. Take off your makeup ASAP.  When my skin misbehaves I don't wear face makeup unless it's my Almay Clear Complexion Powder.  Even so, when I get home from classes I take everything off.... of my face, I mean.

1. We love the way it envelopes our entire body.  It makes us feel small.
2. It smells like "man." I'm not talking about sweaty, stinky, pre-pubescent "boy" smell.  I'm talking about rugged, spicy, just-went-hunting, "man" smell.  Mmm yea.
3.  It makes us feel taken care of.  You might as well say, "I can provide for you."
4.  Love surpasses style.  We don't mind if it's an ugly color or it says, "Holy Family Catholic High School" on it.   We just want to wear it because it was yours.
5. You will have to somehow get it back from us.  Hello, second date.
6. A perk for you: When you get it back, it will smell AMAZING.  You will never want to wash it again, because it will smell like us.  In fact, you will probably want to bury your face in it and inhale deeply.

You, like the rest of the population, probably have a towering stack of unfitted, generic, t-shirts that say things like "Seniors 08", or "Breast Cancer 3-Day".   Maybe they were free, or maybe you forked over $15 to student organizations for them, and you have now realized it was a huge waste of money.  After all, you likely only wore a shirt 5x before retiring it to the "sleep-shirt" status.  They're great for lazy days around the house, or to protect your "real clothes" while you're painting a wall, but otherwise, these shirts often become forgotten memories.  I have a super HOT, SASSY, FUN, CREATIVE, EASY way to reinvent these boring shirts.  It's time to meet- "The Bro-Tank."

You tug at your tie every 5 seconds.  You don't know what shoes to wear.  You left the size sticker on your shirt.  You are stiff. You feel awkward. You can't breathe.  You would rather be wearing athletic shorts and Tribe Pride t-shirt.  What's going on?  You are a college student on the way to the career fair, about to pee your pants and looking nervous as can be.